You know, I respect my dad and have always have, and even when he had faults, I attributed it more to time and old age than his own will being eroded, and tonight was a testament to that more than anything else.
My dad drinks a lot, and he always has, but more now than any other time in my life, and I’ve always been somewhat disappointing with that fact. This evening, though, he drank especially a lot (got into the tequila, ai ai) and after fumbling around the house for a little bit, he challenged me to an arm wrestling match (something he has done on previous occasion) and when, upon beating him, he confessed to me all the things I had wanted to hear from a father; that he was concerned for me, that he wanted to be there and talk with me but that his shyness was getting in the way of him communicating that. He cares about my success, but he doesn’t understand how I, and much of my generation, can be so willy-nilly about money and success when he works hard to earn over 100,000$ a year. His drunkenness allowed me to finally see and hear what had been plaguing him for so long… although, I guess it could be his will alone that needed to be coaxed into the right environment to finally let it all out.
Either way, I’m more glad than I am disappointed.
I just hope the next time this sort of thing comes up is when he’s mostly sober.